Several years ago I (Daniele) was an angry teenager who was seeing everything black and had no hope. The reason was I had been given the feeling to be a burden to my parents while I was growing up.
Behind honorable excuses such as “I do not want to cause pain” or “The world is going on a dangerous slope, it’s better not to prolong the suffering” I was hiding the truth: that I was just really scared to take on such ‘burden’ and that I felt I wasn’t ‘enough’ or I didn’t have what it takes or just enough to give.
Then I stepped into the game and started being a step-dad. My step-son helped me realize two main things:
1) I did have something to give;
2) Kids are not a burden if you don’t try to impose your view on them and you just LISTEN to them with an open heart. Is that view really yours, or is it society’s view, anyways?
Kids are a mirror.
Kids confront us with our own unresolved traumas and hurts. They talk to our inner child, but we have to let him or her out of the armor we’ve built around our hearts of adults. When you are running the rat race it’s way too easy to go on automatic pilot and perpetrate behaviors and patters we ourselves have absorbed as kids from our parents and teachers. Kid’s answers, questions, observations and opinions often make us face ‘illogical’ approaches that we have been told not to pursue. And yet if you ‘tune in’ to their messages and you are willing to let some of your ‘logic’ and your fears dissolve, they have more to teach you than you will ever need to teach them. They come with soul lessons for each parent.
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