If you ask me, romanticism has not done much good to the western view of relationships. Neither do those over-zealous categorization that are fashion these days trying to split the atom and label the difference between soul mates, twin flames, and other extremely specific types of relationships, as if the whole matrix of possibilities between souls could really be mapped, in its infinite amount of luscious permutations…
I also notice that, on many self-help sites and literature, a lot of emphasis is put on ‘moving on’ and – while divorce is useful and legitimate in many cases – a lot of people just get trapped into fear and start the blame game because they are too afraid to face shit together, and when that comes they can’t or don’t want to take it. Everybody would like the other to be already perfect and already resolved. When it turns out it doesn’t match their ideal picture, then they are disappointed.
Excuses are inflated to sizes the original facts never had, fingers are pointed, and they give up.
Whole generations are growing up with parents who have split up and recombined their familiar assets a number of times. Will they ever learn to love, if they have never seen parents showing that example, but running away and not helping their chosen partner?
But partners are people; soulmates are people too. People ain’t perfect. Souls might have been mates for seventy past lives but, each time, our current incarnation will have been born in a different society and gone through conditioning that he or she needs to beak free from, first.
In the meantime, until that last point is mastered, people do stupid things. People mean well, and yet they do wrong. People screw things up. People break each other’s hearts because their own hearts are broken, and no matter how hard they try to see with their hearts and do the right thing, it’s hard to see in a broken glass: the cracks break and multiply the images, and create monsters, blowing shadows out of proportions.
People who love each other help each other place back the respective broken pieces, and hug their partner to better hold the pieces back together. Love is about navigating the storms together, and rejoicing of the rainbows afterwards. Love is improvised, fun, crazy, colorful, and never the same. Embrace Love, embrace Change.
So, why many people give up so easily, instead? Why are we taught, by market’s pervasiveness, to stay masked in our false images, to compete rather than to collaborate – and we end up doing these things even with our loved ones? Why are we drawn to listen to our ego’s and escape responsibilities? Why don’t we open up and let ourselves be vulnerable in front of each other without shame or guilt?
You cannot cure a society that runs away from Love by indulging into more avoidance.
You need to seed Love, if you want to see Love grow.
Love is a tough choice, but do we realize the implications of not choosing it?
One regret, dear world, that I am determined not to have when I am lying on my deathbed is that I did not kiss you enough. – Hafiz
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